The 20 minute rule

Looking down on a bunch of peach, yellow, red and pink flowers.

The other day I stumbled across an article that got me thinking.  The 20 minute rule is essentially about dealing with the little setbacks in your life.  Something doesn’t go to plan – you’ve got 20 minutes to get upset/angry/whiny about it all, then you move on.

In a strange twist of fate, a few hours after reading about the rule, I myself received some news that gave me a little wobble…

I felt like all the air had been sucked out of my lungs and it took me a good few minutes to process what had just occurred. I could’ve used the situation to justify a few days of wallowing in self pity, but instead I decided to use the 20 minute rule.

My setback wasn’t really anything major – a disappointment more than anything, but it was still one of those things that made me feel a bit glum.  So I shed a few tears, cuddled up with Adam on the sofa and just let myself be upset.

Looking down on a bunch of peach, yellow, red and pink flowers.

After that 20 minutes, I went and splashed some cold water on my face and decided I would no longer let that disappointment bother me.   Tomorrow was a new day and I would start anew.

It was quite refreshing to know I had a time to be sad, then it was time to move on.  There was nothing I could do to change the situation – it was completely out of my hands – so there was no point in letting it dominate my thoughts for days on end.

The following day I felt a sense of calm, and started looking forward to the days ahead and the activities they would bring: a sleep in, yoga class, and dinner with friends. It was nice to not to still be caught up in my end mulling over what had happened.

Looking down on a yellow rose in a bunch of flowers.

When I got home from work that afternoon there was a beautiful bunch of flowers waiting for me from Adam.  He told me they weren’t there to make me feel better about what had happened, but to reward me with how I’d dealt with the situation. They were celebration, rather than commiseration flowers. Now when I look at them I think about the possibilities, rather than the what-ifs.

Have you ever tried the 20 minute rule?

Have a wonderful week. x


4 thoughts on “The 20 minute rule

  1. Thanks for sharing. I’ve never heard of the 20 minute rule before. But it makes sense. That’s actually probably how long I take to get over things (in an ideal situation).

    And what a wonderful think of Adam to do. Smart man.

    Liked by 1 person

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